Trump's Waiver

So Trump wants all attendees of his rallies to sign a Waiver Agreement. I just got a copy of it. Here goes.

I (your name) agree to waive any and all my rights to assign blame to Donald John Trump or anyone in his Illustrious Family, or anyone on the surface or below the surface of (your planet) for any injury, illness or misery that may or may not be caused by attending any of Donald John Trump's 'Very Excellent Political Rallies'. I (your name) am fully cognizant and aware that wearing a face mask and social distancing, although recommended by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention may, at a Trump 'Very Excellent Political Rally', project weakness and wimpiness on my part. I (your name) realize that by agreeing to the terms of this 'Waiver' I may or may not be viewed as a total imbecile and/or moron. I also realize I may, or may not be putting myself and others, who are less better than me, at significant risk for catching COVID-19. But hey, it's better than being poked in both eyes with a red hot (your choice of pointy object here)!

I (your name) understand this document to encompass all, and any, past, present or future assignments of blame that may or may not be attributed to Donald John Trump or his Illustrious Family for any reason, real or imagined from the beginning before the creation of the universe until forever on the other side of eternity. God Bless America. MAGA!!!

Signed (your name)                       Dated (yesterday's date)