NEW DAY IN AMERICA!!!

HA 

HA,

YOU’RE

FIRED!!

Campaign In The Ass

In light of Trump's Covid diagnosis some new campaign slogans are in order:

1. 'The Ill of the People'

2. 'Trump: Going Viral'

3. 'Walter Reed 'Em and Weep'

4. 'Sick-o-phants for Trump'

5. 'Trump's Optimism, Simply Contagious'

6. 'I Can't Breathe'

7. 'Who is that Unmasked Man? The Lone Deranger'

8. 'Repulicontagious!'

9. 'Trump: Sooner than Ventilator'

10. 'Carpe Diam: Di-Sease the Day'

11. 'Trump's Campaign; Nothing to Sneeze At'

12. 'Gasping at Straws'

13. 'The Host with the Most'

14. 'Pandemocracy at Work'

15. 'The Trump Contami-Nation'

16. If you're under 20: 'Quaranteens for Trump'

17. 'The Di-Season of Trump'

18. 'Coffin Up the Vote for Trump'

19. 'Up to Our Immun-Eyes in Trump'

20. 'Drinking Up at the Un-Well. Voting for Trump' 

21. 'It's Hard to be Negative when Trump is Positive'

Disinfect America. 

It's not too inocu-late. 

Vote the disease out of office on November 3rd!

Exscuuuuuse Me!

In 2016 and 2018, Sen. Lindsey Graham stated that a Supreme Court vacancy should not be filled in an election year, or certainly not after the primaries had begun. So why did he tweet "I will support President Donald Trump in any effort to move forward regarding the recent vacancy created by the passing of Justice Ginsburg"? As Graham said while being interviewed. Because; "Things Change".

How did Donald Trump rationalize the deaths of 155,331 U.S. citizens by Covid-19 on August 3rd? (Refer to post; It Is. What? It Is! published on August 5th.) As he stated. Because; "It Is What It Is".

What has Trump used as an excuse at least 34 times since the start of the pandemic for why he will not enforce a mask mandate to help stop the spread of the virus? Because; "It (The Virus) Will Disappear". (Everything will disappear... eventually... The sun will go supernova, then BOOM!, it's bye-bye all.)

Here are some more examples about how to use other meaningless sayings to get out of taking responsibility for, well, just about anything.

Three days before the Dec. 7, 1941 Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, President Roosevelt was warned in a memo from naval intelligence that Tokyo's military and spy network was focused on Hawaii. Why was no action taken on this intelligence which subsequently led to the deaths of 2,403 U.S. personnel? Because; "No One Knows What The Future Will Bring".

What about the Oklahoma City bombing on April 19th 1995 which left 168 people dead. Were Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols' motives really related to the Ruby Ridge or Waco sieges as perpetrated by law enforcement officials? No, it was just, Because; "Shit Happens".  

Derek Chauvin, you had your knee on the neck of George Floyd for 8 minutes and 46 seconds. You killed him. We saw you with our own eyes. It's on video. Don't judge you? How can you say that? Because; "Nothing Is As It Seems".

For over 200 years Blacks were kept as slaves in America. They were subjected to the most abhorrent of conditions. They were hunted by "slave hounds". They were beaten, brutalized and lynched. The had their heritage and dignity ripped from them. Why shouldn't they get reparations for the horrors they had to endure? Because; "That Was Then, This Is Now". "Get Over It".

To this day Blacks are still treated as second class citizens. They have been systematically excluded from the same economic opportunities that exist for White people. They have not been treated as equals under the law. In fact, the laws of this country have been used against them in a highly unfair manner. The police, who should be protecting them, have been murdering them. Why? Because; "Life Is Strange".

We could have done something more to protect our minorities. We could have done something more to save the lives of those who have died in this Covid pandemic. We could have done more to protect wildlife and the environment. We could have done more to make sure we elected competent individuals into positions of power. Why didn't we see what was coming? Because; "Hindsight Is 20/20".

Look at all the people who have died in war. The countless people who we have lost due to poverty and disease in Third World countries. All those who have suffered at the hands of the oppressors in tyranny. Those whose lives have been cut short because of rampant gun violence. The lives of those that have been destroyed by being falsely accused and incarcerated. Because; "It's Always Something".

Mr. Kennedy, how will you respond to the charges brought against you in regards to the drowning death of Mary Jo Kopechne as a result of your negligence? You didn't even bother to report the incident to authorities until 10 hours after the accident at Poucha Pond in Chappaquiddick. Perhaps her life could have been saved. No comment. Because; "We'll Cross That Bridge When We Get To It".

Mr. Kennedy, what do you say to the parents of Mary Jo Kapechne now that you have been found guilty of leaving the scene of an accident causing bodily injury resulting in the death of their daughter? Nothing. Because; "That's Water Under The Bridge".

Nobody need worry about Covid-19. Because; "What You Can't See Won't Hurt You".

But, if by some fluke of nature you do get Coronavirus and you end up on a ventilator or in a coma for days, or even weeks. No worries. Because; "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger".

What do you say about a guy (Trump) who had affairs while his wife was taking care of his newborn baby? Or a guy (Trump) who has been accused of several instances of sexual harassment? Or a guy (Trump) who likes to burst in, unannounced, into the dressing rooms of beauty pageants he was hosting to 'sneak-a-peek'? Or a guy (Trump) who boasts about grabbing women "by their pussies"? Or a guy (Trump) who degrades and disrespects all kinds of females, especially those in power? Not a thing. Because; "Boys Will Be Boys".

And "That's Just The Way It Is".

If "Ignorance Is Bliss" then Donald J Trump Must Be The Happiest Man Alive!

Wipe that smile off his face on Tuesday, November 3rd. Vote for Biden/Harris!!

What Privilege

White Privilege:

Just because I can go into any store I want and not have to worry about some loss prevention guy watching my every move doesn't mean I have 'White Privilege', because if I was black I could go into any store and... well... Let's try this another way.

 

Just because I can go into a store and not have to ask for a key or permission to handle products designed for caucasian complections and hair doesn't mean I have 'White Privilege', because as a black person I could go into that same store and have free reign and access to the products designed for Afro-American... umm... uhh... O.K. Maybe a different example would work better.

Just because I can go into a bank and get a loan pretty much hassle-free doesn't mean I have 'White Privilege', because as a black person with the same set of circumstances that bank would... hmm... Maybe not. How about...

Just because I can go into an elevator and be alone with an old, white lady and she feels no need to clutch her purse and move away from me doesn't mean I have 'White Privilege', because if I was a black guy and I went into that same elevator I wouldn't have to worry about... er... This is harder than I thought. I know...

Just because I can struggle with the lock on a door to a house in an affluent neighborhood that I live in without having someone call the police on me doesn't give me 'White Privilege', because if I were a black person doing the same thing, why nothing would raise suspicion or any... yeah... Suppose...

Just because I, as a white person, could drive an expensive car through an impoverished neighborhood without the fear of being pulled over does not mean I have 'White Privilege', because if I were black I'm sure that nobody would... or would they?

As a white person I can bird-watch in any damn park I want to. No one would bother me. That's not 'White Privilege', because if I were black and engaged in that same activity... oh... that happened?... you sure?... Try again.

Just because I needn't have to worry about being prosecuted unfairly for crimes I may or may not have committed doesn't mean 'White Privilege' applies, because if my skin were black why I am sure that... relatively certain... perhaps...

Just because I never had to worry about nooses or burning crosses doesn't mean I was raised with 'White Privilege', because if I were black I would have been raised... I would have... I...

Just because I can walk down any street in Kenosha carrying a long gun and have the authorities leave me alone does not give me 'White Privilege', because if I were black and wandering the streets with a long gun, or pistol, heading towards a volatile race related protest I bet no one would even care or... Way harder than I thought. Give it another shot.

Just because I never have to leave the house and worry about 'choke-holds' or someone kneeling on my neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds or being shot 7 times in the back or being shot while running away or being shot while jogging or being shot while relaxing in my own house or apartment or being arrested, harassed, bullied, beat-up, disenfranchised with a history of segregation, enslavement and lynching weighing heavily and mightily upon me with the possibility of leaving a grieving family to wonder what happened to their child, and why, and why now, and why again, all based solely on the color of my skin does not give me 'White Privilege'.

The hell it doesn't!!

And if you can't see, as a white person, the 'Privilege' that has been afforded to you because of your skin then you are not simply color-blind, you are just plain blind.

Wake Up!!!

ATTENTION!

What our illustrious B.S. (Bone Spur) Draft-Dodging President said about the military...

"losers"

"bunch of dopes"

"babies"

"bunch of pussies"

"suckers"

"I don't get it" "What was in it for them?"

"must have known what he signed up for"

...are the same things that can be said about his supporters.

I didn't realize it was possible for an asshole to get "bone spurs".

Dishonorably Discharge Donald Trump on November 3rd! 

It's your duty!!

AT EASE!

Open Season

As hunting season gets into full swing I thought it would be wise to go over some of the basic regulations for black bear man hunting as set forth by The United States Fish and Wildlife Service.

General Information                                

Black Man License

To hunt black men, residents and nonresidents do not need to purchase a black man hunting license. No other applicable licenses, permits or stamps, unless exempt are required. A separate Sportsman’s License is not needed.

Bag Limits

There are no limits as to the number of black men that may be killed during black man season. There are no weight limits or regulations as to size. Black females with black children may be harvested. There are no weight or size limits for either the black female or her black children. Please observe and be patient before shooting as black children often lag behind the black female.

While Unsavory it is Lawful to Feed Black Men and Completely Within the Hunter's Prerogative to Bait Them 

Feeding or baiting is legal year round and in all states. Do your part to subdue black men, reduce human-black men conflicts, and slow the spread of equality. Black men with equality will wear their hair as they please. They often have unblemished glowing skin, and usually look healthy and hardy.

It is Lawful, Even Desirable, to Shoot Without Intent to Retrieve the Black Man

A person may kill or cripple and knowingly allow any game black man to be wasted without making a reasonable effort to retrieve the animal and retain it in their possession.

It is Lawful to Cripple, Harm, or Dislodge and Continue to Hunt

It is lawful to cripple, harm or dislodge a black man from his residence or vehicle for the intent of continuing a hunt, chase, or for the purpose of training dogs.

Black Man Checking and Vital Information Submission

Successful black man hunters need not report their harvest at a Police Station or any other regulatory agency in person or through the internet or by telephone. No vital information of any kind is needed or should be reported. See Tag Validation & Checking Requirements.

Look Up the Age of Your Harvested Black Man Online!

Just kidding! Who cares?

Tracking Dogs

Allowed. They are historically called "Slave Hounds".

Black Man Hunting Season

The season for hunting black men shall commence on January 1st of every calendar year and end on December 31st.

Allowable Hours of Hunting

Black men may be hunted at any hour of any day with no restrictions.

Good Luck and Happy Harvesting!

The Road Less Travelled

Shepard Smith leaving Fox News, joins CNBC. Nothing new, but.....

Let's get into this.

Shepard Smith going to CNBC because he couldn't deal with the lies and misinformation of the opinionators (yes that is a word) of "Fox News™". Someone has a backbone. 

"Fox News™" is the name of a network. It is no more a "news" network than a "Tiger's Milk®" energy bar is really Tiger's Milk, or the streaming video service "Pluto TV®" originates from the dwarf planet Pluto. Unfortunately, 'Trumpaholics' are too 'Trump-drunk' to realize that "Fox News™" is just a name. In their stupor they believe what the opinionators of Fox News tell them is factual. These opinionators, especially the 'Prime Time Holy Trinity' of Carlson-Hannity-Ingraham are not journalists, nor do they relate the 'News'. They are simply there to entertain and give opinions. This is all done for ratings. As I have mentioned before, viewers don't really care about ratings, but advertisers do. Follow the $$$ people. When "Fox News™" boasts about its ratings all it is telling you is that opinions are more entertaining than facts. Is the truth boring?

Look at it this way. Suppose that "Fox News™" and CNN/CNBC are roadmaps. Now in the case of CNN/CNBC their destination is the 'City of Truth'. That is the most important goal. The most direct route without taking time out to visit all the roadside attractions. The "Fox News™" roadmap has no such destination as the 'City of Truth', what it does have, however, is an abundance of misdirections to all those wacky and wild roadside attractions. Pack up the kids honey. We're going for a drive!

"Daddy, I don't want to go to the 'City of Truth', it's boring... yawn! I have to go to the bathroom!" C'mon kids. Don't you want to see "The Cadillac Ranch" in Amarillo, or the "Monument to the Hog" in Alabama? What about the "Museum of Clean" in Idaho, or "The Chewing Gum Wall" in Washington? Forget about the 'City of Truth'. Who needs it? Sounds like fun, doesn't it. Yes, it is fun. Good for ratings and advertiser's $$$ too!

The 'City of Truth'. Too useful. Takes concentration. Has streets of 'Stark Reality', 'Patience', 'Hard-Work' and yes, some disappointment. Much better to be uninformed and entertained, right? Depends. Are you looking for solutions to help fix the broken state-of-the-nation, or would you rather live in the vast wasteland of the situation comedy that is 'Trumpsville'? 

Sad to say, and looking at what the average American gets excited about, they would rather bury their heads in the sand listening to the theme song of the "Big Bang Theory". (The TV show. Not the real Big Bang Theory, that one would require science. BO-RING!!!)

Which brings us to the next point: That is why most people would rather listen to opinions, innuendos and conspiracy theories. They are the 'Roadside Attractions' of "Fox News™". "Fox News™" is the sitcom network. CNN/CNBC is the documentary network. Which one do you think most people will watch? I think this is a 'no-brainer'. Trump would even get that right.

How do we ever expect to beat Covid with a population such as this. It's ironic how the 'Trumpaholics' extol the virtues of freedom. Yet they have no problem being held captive by the distraction police. With just a little concentration and willpower these same people might be able to appreciate the vast, infinite, unfettered world of science. You like watching car crashes? Take a look at nuclear explosions. You find fight scenes exciting? Watch how doctor's battle disease. Feel the need for speed? Ride on a beam of light. Einstein did. Look at the universe he discovered.

Funny how people have faith in something they cannot see or prove, yet when it comes to quantifiable scientific proof about things like, um, I don't know, a virus, they're having none of it. 

Are you someone willing to settle with the opinionators of "Fox News™". Or do you have what it takes to get to work and find the truth. 

If Shepard Smith can do it so can you.

Biden My Time

The infommercials are over! 

I watched a whole 10 minutes of the DNC, and a whopping 5 minutes of the RNC. Can I get some Peanut Butter with that Fluff?

What Pinocchio nose stuck out the most? Why, the lies and misleadings of the Repulikkkonvention of course. What visual stood out the most? Good old Donnie Boy showing his love for his supporters by cramming them in to stroke his ego. Shoulder to shoulder, no masks required. Gee, I didn't realize the pandemic was over. They should have memo'd us on that.  

Why does Trump want his supporters to get sick and die? There is only so much the Electoral College can do. He lost the popular vote by about 3,000,000 last time. If it goes to 5,000,000 or over, not even the E.C. will be able to save his sorry ass. Wait, I've got it! When he loses the election he can blame it on Covid because he can say it helped kill off the people who would have voted for him and by Trump setting up the environment for them to die he helps to cement that strategy. He's playing 3 dimensional chess again.

By this time in the campaign cycle I have lost all my sympathy for any of the Covidiots who get sick or die because they refuse to take the basic precautions to not get the virus. You know what? It serves them right! The only people I feel sorry for are the innocent victims to whom the Covidiots spread the virus to. 

Covidiots don't believe in science. So I suppose they don't believe in evolution or natural selection. Too bad for them, because the obvious is staring them in the face. Too bad the Covidiots and Trump supporters have their heads buried up their butts. Just because they like the smell of shit doesn't mean the rest of us have to. 

Natural selection is working perfectly here. Species who are too rigid, too uneducated or too unwilling to adapt die out. So it is with the Covidiot Trumpasaurus. That's OK. That will leave the rest of us to thrive and reproduce. The resources saved by the Coividiot Trumpasaurus dying out will better serve those who are superiorly equipped both mentally and physically to use them. Mother Nature never loses.

We now return to our regularly scheduled campaigns already in progress.

What has our nation turned into when we are forced to vote for another old white Christian male in order to save ourselves from the current old white Christian male? Why do we set a minimum age of 35 to run for President but we have no maximum age for a viable candidate? I don't think 67 is too unreasonable. That's full retirement age. By age 67 it is not uncommon for the first signs of dementia to begin in people who are predisposed to it. So if you get a 2 termer that's 75 when they leave office. Trump is 74 years old now. Biden, 77. Sure Biden is better equipped to handle the current situation of the USA. Yes his resumé includes being Vice-President. But trump, well, he did have a "reality" show on TV, and he can correctly identify what an elephant is, so....

Look, I am not thrilled with either candidate, but if you think Trump is better, based on how he has performed in the last 4 years, then you are a fool, or blind or deaf, or in the Covid coma that you got after attending any of the numerous Repulikkkon gatherings where social distancing and masks were not required.

Perhaps the best reason to vote for Biden is Kamala Harris. Vote Biden in and you set up a future where an educated powerful 55 year old woman becomes poised to become President. Not barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen? Oooh, that scares you Mr. Republikkkon doesn't it? How will you ever cope with cooking for yourself, cleaning up after yourself, segregating, err.., I mean, separating the lights from the darks? You ain't birthin' no babies, that's for sure!

So let's roll up our sleeves and clean house. Vote Donald Trump out of office on November 3rd!!

More Donald "Con" Trump Conspiracy Theories

I thought I was just kidding in my Donald Trump's conspiracy theories post on July 23rd, "Later On, We'll Conspire...", when I said that he believed the USPS had it in for him because: "the USPS would be the ones to oversee the delivery of mail-in ballots to their final destinations. They would thus be accomplices to fraud in Trump's twisted mind." I'm beginning to scare myself with these "predictions". I'll take my chances though and opine on some other theories Trump might be floating to save his sinking reelection ship.

Trump believes the Pythagoreans and Ancient Greeks knew back in 300 BC what he would be up to come the 2020 election. So to trip him up they invented the concept of math. This would allow people to quantify the physical world. Things like being able to tally the amount of votes one might receive in an election. Just to be sure, however, the Electoral College was invented, in case some of our realities didn't match up to other's expectations. A vote count of 62,984,828 is greater than 65,853,514. Isn't it? All those damn numbers, my head is spinning. Help me make sense out of this. I need to be enrolled in the Electoral College! (Trump said he is good with figures. I guess he was talking about his affairs with Stormy Daniels and Marla Maples.)

Around 1285 Salvino D'Armate invented glasses. Trump feels this was done on purpose and as a specific attack on his character, or lack thereof. This invention allows people to see Donald for who he truly is. Not a pretty sight. Glasses are also used to help people read and become educated. Trump is not pleased about this because it specifically targets his inability to do either. The only person Trump had no issue with in the wearing of said corrective lenses was Joe Shapiro. He's the person who most likely took Trump's SAT exams for him which allowed Trump to get into the Wharton School of The University of Pennsylvania. Of course Trump has blocked anyone from seeing any of his academic records, going so far as to threaten to sue any institution that would release them. 

As a side note, Louis J. Girard invented contact lenses in 1887 and Gholam A. Peyman invented Lasik laser corrective eye surgery in 1989. These more modern inventions are disturbing to Donald. Now he can't easily discern which individuals can see right through him just by cursory inspection.

Trump's next bugaboo: That cursed melanin thingy. What a scourge to the Donald, for without it everyone would be a nice shade of white. Why are there all these pesky darker skin tones? The numerous problems it creates for him. All these people to be disenfranchised from voting. All the bigotry and condescension he needs to maintain. Second nature for Trump, but it still requires energy which ultimately detracts from his golf game. Trouble is, he needs some of them to take care of the menial tasks at his properties. Conundrum for the dumdum? 

This last Trump conspiracy theory is real, at least for now. Donald thinks the CDC is trying to make him look bad, or at least worse, by slowing down the development and deployment of a Covid vaccine on purpose. He wants all the glory for himself. That way he can say he was the President during the greatest pandemic ever in the history of man. That he single-handedly saved the nation. Doesn't make a difference how many people get sick or die. That is not the point. He can take credit for being the sole creator of the vast scope of this tragedy by how incompetent he has been in handling the situation and then claim to be the saviour of us all when it eventually "disappears". 

'Trumphausen by Proxy'! 

"It is what it is".

P.S. For your own safety, well-being and peace of mind do not, under any circumstances, view the Repulikkkonvention. Permanent 'turn the blind-eye syndrome' and a precipitous drop in mental capacity will result. The only known treatment:

Voting Donald 'Con-John' Trump out of office on November 3rd!

Roll Up Your Arm And Bend Over!

Who better to push the extract of oleander as a cure for Covid than ex-crack addict and founder of the Better Business Bureau 'F' rated company 'MyPillow®', Mike Swindell. After all, he had an intimate relationship with, and vast knowledge of the extract of the coca plant. What few brain cells he had left were used to build his over-hyped foam pillow empire. That, and his relationship with Donald Trump, makes him an expert in the field of microbiology and one of the most respected scientists in the universe. Really, comparing anyone to Trump in their knowledge of just about anything would make them look like frickin' geniuses. 

So let's all pack up our hypodermics and get ready to meet 'the man' on some dimly lit street corner for the next best thing since hydroxychloroquine. What a rush it will be. Hey, if 'Mikey likes it' it must be good. Just make sure it's uncut. You know, get the pure stuff. I hear they'll be selling it in '8 balls'. No need to take orally, so you don't even have to remove the mask that you're not wearing.

Gosh, what if oleander extract is a gateway drug? Next thing you know some moron will tell us that ingesting bleach is a good idea. Or that putting a flashlight inside our body can cure us. Don't you just miss the good old days of laetrile and coffee enemas? "Good to the last drop"! More like, "Good until the last one of us drops".

This 'Swindell' guy is the person Trump embraces to represent his views? We all know who Trump has embraced, or pissed on, in the past. It is not a pretty picture. Try to bleach that image from your eyes!

Mike Swindell. He invented 'MyPillow®' because sleeping on the pavement was hurting his head.

Mike Lindell, MyAss®!

The sure cure for our current 'Political Pandemic':

 

Vote Donald John Trump out of office on November 3rd!!!

We'll Be Right Back...

I realize that much of my outrage towards the "media" is aimed at Focks News/Opinion and its hosts, and they deserve it. But this does not mean I am letting CNN off the hook. I already addressed my opinion on how they are portraying the pandemic. Too many pretty charts and graphs and not enough stark reality. Refer to my post "Note To CNN" published on June 28th. 

Today I want to call out CNN's hypocrisy when it comes to what products and services they advertise for creating their revenue stream. Specifically:

1. Mike Lindell's MyPillow:

This guy is the antithesis of everything CNN aspires to present as its public face. He is almost single-handedly bankrolling the Focks News/Opinion Network. They feature him and his products virtually non-stop. He is a Trump puppet and supporter. For CNN to accept advertising $$$'s from him is disingenuous at best. Remember; "Lindell is something of a quintessential figure in Trump’s orbit: a relentless TV presence with a promoter’s flare. He drew scrutiny in 2016 over his ads -- My Pillow agreed to pay $1 million after 10 California district attorneys accused the company of false advertising." The Better Business Bureau has him at an "F" rating! Is this where you have to get your money from CNN?

Worse yet, let's go to advertiser;

2. Sandals Resorts:

In this time of Covid and Black Lives Matter how can CNN, in good conscious, run commercials for Sandals Resorts? Let's cram a bunch of mostly white privileged  people into a plane and send them to Barbados. Make sure to include that token black couple for visual effect. Who will they spread the Coronavirus to next? Spin the Wheel of Misfortune and find out. Don't you just love the part of the commercial that goes "or seen a butler walk on water to please you?" A nice brown skinned boy in a tuxedo on a sweltering hot day. White gloves no less, ready to serve you. Amusing brown skinned natives at your beck and call to entertain your every whim. Only thing missing is the organ grinder. 

Interestingly enough, when you play the Sandals Resorts Barbados commercial on Youtube the next video that autoplays is a first person view of what they see while walking around the resort. All white people. The only blacks to be seen are the butlers and the service people in their uniforms. Nothing like a good old relaxing exploication, eh?

Don't tell me that the hosts at CNN, who make millions of dollars at being talking heads, have no control over this. They can speak up to these injustices. They seem to have no problem raising their voices to speak out against the hundreds of other topics that go against their political grain. Silence is compliance. 

Sometimes you need a break from your sponsors.

The Heavy (S)Hitters Of Focks

Just an observation.

The premier lineup of Focks News/Opinion hosts for your nighttime viewing displeasure are: Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham and Tucker Carlson.

SHIT...hmm...

Coincidence? 

I think not!

You Say Tomato And I Say... "What The Hell Is Trump Lying About Now!"

Real World: Yosemite [ yoh-sem-i-tee ] noun a valley in E. California, in the Sierra Nevada Mountains: a part of Yosemite National Park. 7 miles (11 km) long. Usage in sentence: Hey, let's go camping at Yosemite National Park. We'll bring the kids. It'll be fun!

Trump's World: Yo! Semite [ yoh, - semīt ] slang a Donald Trump shout-out to a member of the Jewish Race. Usage in sentence: Yo! Semite, how about counting my money for me. You know how I feel about blacks doing it. 

What he actually said: "Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day." And yes, he really did pronounce Yosemite as [ yoh - semīt ].

Real World: Alamo [ al-uh-moh ] noun a mission in San Antonio, Texas that was used as a fort during the Texas revolution. An example of the Alamo is the site of 187 Texan deaths in 1836. Usage in sentence: When we go to San Antonio we must make sure to visit the Alamo. It is a somber place and no photographs are allowed to be taken inside of the building.

Trump's World: A lamb-o [ ə-læm-oh] refrain in a popular Nursery Rhyme as recited by Frederick Trump to his son Donald when he was a toddler. Usage in the Nursery Rhyme: Mary had a lamb-o, a lamb-o, a lamb-o. Mary had a lamb-o. We fleeced it don't you know.

Real World: Hebrides [ heb-ri-deez ] noun a group of islands (Inner Hebrides and Outer Hebrides off the west coast of and belonging to Scotland. About 2,900 sq. mi. (7,500 sq. km). Usage in sentence: We will be vacationing to the Hebrides this summer. We hear that they are beautiful at that time of year.

Trump's World: he-brides [ hē-brīdz ] noun the term Donald Trump uses when describing the men who are to be joined in a Gay marriage. Usage in a probable Trump sentence: Gee, which one of those he-brides will be wearing the dress and which one will be wearing the tuxedo? 

How Trump really feels about Marriage Equality: Donald Trump has been a consistent opponent of marriage equality. He has embraced the nation’s most odious anti-LGBTQ law, North Carolina’s HB2, and put on the ticket Mike Pence, who has become the face of anti-LGBTQ discrimination after signing a bill to allow businesses to discriminate and deny service to LGBTQ people because of who they are or whom they love. Trump has also said he would sign the so-called First Amendment Defense Act (FADA) which would enable Kim Davis-style discrimination across the country.

Real World: hyperbole [ hīˈpərbəlē ] noun exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally. Usage in sentence: Just about everything Donald Trump has said, or will ever say, is hyperbole.

Trump's World: hyperbowl [ hīpər-bōl ] verb how Donald Trump exaggerates his prowess at bowling. Usage in sentence: Donald would say "I hyperbowled to a score of 325 yesterday!" But Donald, the highest score you can achieve in bowling is 300. "I said I hyperbowled! Didn't you hear me? What's wrong with you?! You're fired!!!"

Real World: Thailand [ taɪlænd ] noun Formerly Siam. A kingdom in SE Asia: official name of Siam 1939–45 and since 1949. 198,242 sq. mi. (513,445 sq. km). Capital: Bangkok. Usage in sentence: One of the most popular dishes of Thailand is Tom Yum Goong (spicy shrimp soup). You must try some the next time you visit.

Trump's World: thigh-land [ THī-land ] noun area of the human leg between the hip and the knee. Usage in sentence: Donald Trump had to pay Stormy Daniels $130,000 in hush money to keep her quiet after visiting her thigh-land during his illicit sexual encounter with her in 2006. The event happened within months of Melania giving birth to Barron. Trump actually did pronounce Thailand as [ THī-land ]. What an educated leader!

Trump's World: Donald Trump says he has done more for the United States than any President in history. He has done more for minorities than any President in history. Has done more to unite the citizens of the United States than any President in History. That he should be on Mount Rushmore.

Real World: Trump has done more harm to America than any other President, ever. He has done more to minorities than any other President in history. He has done more than any other President could possibly do to divide the citizens of the United States. He should be thrown off Mount Rushmore!

Ideal World: Donald John Trump voted out of office on Tuesday, November 3rd!

Cognitive Test

Trump took his test.

Now it's your turn.

Congratulations! You qualify to become President of the United States!

You have also proven that you are intelligent enough to vote Trump out of office on November 3rd.

It Is. What? It Is!

What if? What if?

January 25, 1971 - Mr. Manson, what have you to say for yourself in the murders of Sharon Tate, Jay Sebring, Abigail Folger, Wojtek Frykowski and Steven Parent?

- It is what it is.

- Well, that's alright then.

- Acquitted! You're a free man Charley. Have a great life!

September 11, 2001 - Mr. President, what say you about the killing of 2,977 innocent people as the result of terrorist attacks on this great nation?

- It is what it is.

- What leadership! Brilliant authority and command!

- There's a Nobel Peace Prize in this for you by George!

Between 1941 and 1945 - 6,000,000 Jews tortured and killed at the hands of the Nazis. How can Germany possibly explain this atrocity?

- Es ist was es ist.

- Heil Hitler!

Mid 1700's - On the land we would subsequently steal from the Native Americans. British officers’ willingness to contemplate using smallpox against the Indians. How can you possibly condone germ warfare to rid America of its indigenous people as a way to spread the Crown's Imperialism?

- It is what it is.

- Take 2 Casinos and call me in the morning.

- Put $20.00 on red.

- It, Emmit Till; Is, Atatiana Jefferson; What, Eric Garner; It, Breonna Taylor; Is, George Floyd.

August 3, 2020. The United States of America - 155,331 people dead. 4,710,282 people infected. Donald John Trump says: "It is what it is".

- Donald J. Trump.

- He is what he is.

- Narcissistic shit-stain on the fabric of America.

It is - Tuesday, November 3rd, 2020.

He was.

Tump's (sic) New Math

Donald Trump has claimed that he has done “more for minorities” than Barak Obama during his time in office.

This is a perfect example of D.T.'s misleading exaggerations and his spelling handicap. Here's how it all works:

We know that Donald exaggerates and inflates. Remember, he had the "largest audience to ever witness an inauguration", or he repeatedly claimed that he won a “landslide” Electoral College victory? Both untrue. In fact when it comes to his "landslide" claim, his margin actually ranked on the low end of the scale in modern presidential elections.

As far as his misspellings go, we have: "smocking gun", "hamberders" "global waming", "Prince of Whales", etc., etc., etc.

 

Let's put on our decoder rings.

When Trump says he has done "more for minorities" what it really translates to is that he has done "more to minorities". Trump is good with figures, so he says, therefore: two X two = four. Easy, right? Now, let's look at this in light of Trump's spelling handicap: to X to = for. Or, to exaggerated by to equals for. With me so far? 

Putting it all together we see that: 

1. Trump inflates and exaggerates.

2. He's good with figures, so he says.

3. He's a lousy speller.

Conclusion:

When Trump says he is doing or has done something for someone what he really means is, he is doing or has done something to someone. This formula works surprisingly well in several instances. For example:

1. Trump told the Christian Broadcasting Network that evangelicals are "going to show up for me" on Election Day "because nobody's done more for Christians or evangelicals or frankly religion than I have." This really means: Trump told the Christian Broadcasting Network that evangelicals are "going to show up for me" on Election Day "because nobody's done more to Christians or evangelicals or frankly religion than I have." Easily proven by his past and present immoral behavior.

2. Mr. Trump claimed on Twitter to have done more for black Americans than any president since Abraham Lincoln. This decodes to: Mr. Trump claimed on Twitter to have done more to black Americans than any president since Abraham Lincoln. Proven by his racist attitudes and his complicity with White Nationalists. 

And our original:

3. Donald Trump has claimed that he has done “more for minorities” than Barak Obama during his time in office. Meaning he has done "more to minorities" than Barak Obama during his time in office. Proven by how he treats women of color or how he makes fun of people with disabilities. (Remember how he mocked New York Times reporter Serge Kovaleski?) What about his Pocahontas comments concerning Elizabeth Warren? I bet Native Americans loved that. 

Even Eric Trump uses this formula when he says his father has done more for the relationship with North Korea than 'any President ever'. Translated: His father has done more to the relationship with North Korea than 'any President ever'. Proven by the fact that Kim Jong-un is no longer interested in meetings with the U.S.

One more thing. When a person is quoted exactly and the spelling of a word is non-standard or wrong the Latin adverb sic is used. For example when Trump tweeted that the number of burgers he purchased had grown again to “over 1000 hamberders etc.”, it would be quoted exactly as “over 1000 hamberders (sic) etc.” The '(sic)' indicates that the quote is verbatim including the misspelling. So If I said "Donald Tump is a moron" you could quote me as saying "Donald Tump (sic) is a moron." Mind you the spelling of 'Tump' is incorrect. The fact that he is a moron is not.

We could further state:

Donald Tump (sic).

Donald Trump (sick).

Both would be correct.

Let's do something to Trump on November 3rd. Vote for Biden.

Coven 'ain't'

I live a 5 minute walk away from a local college. The college has been routinely rated as one of the worst in the nation. I have been barred, by law, to be in communication with any administration official or staff including, but not limited to the president. Why? Because I had the audacity to request specific information on how this substandard institution, which is millions of dollars in debt, is going to mitigate the risk to the community of Coronavirus when it brings its student body back for in person classes in late August. I have sent them about half a dozen articles to back my claims as to why it would be foolhardy to do so. They just couldn't be bothered. Mind you, they charge outrageous amounts of money to attend this joke of an "educational institution". The retention rate for first year students is abysmally low. They are no better than a second or third rate High School, and that's giving them the benefit of the doubt. One of the ways they aim to combat the spread of this virus is, and I quote “All faculty, staff and students will be asked to sign a Community Health and Well-Being Covenant, which basically says we all have to care for ourselves and each other to have a successful semester, it’s on all of us not just one group of people.” Are you laughing yet? If not, you should be. What a joke!

Oh, it's just that simple. I know, why don't you get the students at this Private Christian Institution to sign a "Covenant" stating that they won't get the virus.

Or a "Covenant" that if they get the virus they won't get sick. 

Or if they get sick, they won't die.

Or if they die they won't do so while attending this inferior institution.

Why not make them sign a document stating that should they get sick or cause another person to get sick or die that they will not hold the College legally responsible, even though the College could have prevented such a calamity by simply waiting to reopen after a robust treatment or vaccine had been found.

Don't worry, loyal reader, I did ask the College to provide me with information as to how they were going to deal with any legal issues should they be sued for their irresponsible behavior. You guessed it. Not allowed, by law, to ask them about that either.

Now, if signing a "Covenant" won't work, how about a "Coven". We could all just use a spell to rid us of this dangerous virus; 'Double double toil and trouble/Fire burn and cauldron bubble', and all that. 

How about a potion? Here's a good one:

Right wing of lame duck

Lying tongue of Trump

Jellyfish spine of Kushner

Accusatory pointing finger of Barr

Turned blind eye of virus denier

Turned other cheek of Melania

Smirk of Ingraham

Brown nose of Hannity

3 oz. Breitbart KKKoolaid

Strain through 1 unwanted Republican face mask

Into a less than half-filled glass of America

Drink up on any of the over 150,000 graves of dead victims of COVID-19

During a full moon

Facing an uncertain future

Feel safer now? I thought so!

Let's all make a "Covenant" to vote Trump out of office on November 3rd, and stick to it!!!

Stellaaaaa!!!

Trump has a new hydroxychloroquine expert. Introducing world renowned right-wing internet star, Houston pediatrician, leader of Fire Power Ministries and spiritual adviser to Bozo the Clown; Stella Immanuel. (If this fruit were hanging any lower it would be underground!)

What do you look for in a person for whom you would want to represent you in your quest to legitimize junk-science? Someone who believes:

That: Endometriosis and other potentially dangerous gynecological conditions are the residue of sexual intercourse with demons. ☑

That: Alien DNA is a component of some therapeutic drugs and that government scientists are developing a vaccine to prevent religious faith. ☑

That: The government is run in part not by humans but by “reptilians” and other aliens. ☑  (This may be partly true. How else do you explain Trump being where he is?)

That: Witches are intent on seizing control of children. ☑

That: The Disney Channel show Hannah Montana is a gateway to evil. ☑

That: Schools teach children to meditate so they can “meet with demons.” ☑

That: “Children need to be whipped.” ☑

That: Protective face masks are not necessary. ☑ (Screw the fact that just about every other intelligent, sentient being knows otherwise.) 

Quick quiz...

Which one is not like the others?

1. Intelligent

2. Sentient

3. Trump ☑

Correct! Good for you!

Immanuel became a right-wing internet star after a speech she gave on the steps of the Supreme Court went viral on Facebook and Twitter. She reiterated some of her madcap beliefs during that discourse. Toward the end of Immanuel’s speech, the event’s organizer and other participants can be seen trying to get her away from the microphone. (Gee, I wonder why?) The event was organized by the right-wing group "Tea Party "Patriots". (Which is backed by wealthy Republican donors.)

Facebook and Twitter eventually deleted videos of Immanuel's speech. Immanuel responded by declaring that Jesus Christ would destroy Facebook’s servers if her videos weren’t restored to the platform. 

Hey, Planters Peanuts, if you're looking for a new spokesperson I've got your 'Nut-Job' right here!!

Remember, Tuesday, November 3rd:

Trump

Anybody or anything else ☑☑☑!!!

De 'cap' itate

                       Supporters of Trump wear this:

 

They are all Dickheads

And should be wearing this

Cut the head off the snake. Vote Trump out of office!

Later On, We'll Conspire...

Fareed Zacharia just had a special on CNN where he examined the conspiracy theories of Donald Trump. Here are a few of the ones he left out.

Donald Trump believes companies that manufacture writing utensils are out to get him. He feels this way because voters could use said writing utensils to fill out 'absentee ballots'. Donald believes that these 'mail-in ballots' will lead to voter fraud. (Of course this is an unsubstantiated falsehood, but the boneheads that follow Trump believe it anyway.)

Following this 'logic', Trump is of the opinion that the United States Postal Service has it in for him. After all, the USPS would be the ones to oversee the delivery of mail-in ballots to their final destinations. They would thus be accomplices to fraud in Trump's twisted mind.

Donald perceives there is a vendetta against him that has been perpetuated by Noah Webster. He's the guy who pioneered Webster's Dictionary that was first published in 1806. D.T. has observed that this book contains words. Many of them are large and confusing. He imagines that Noah was mocking him by producing such an erudite work. (Donald tried to use the dictionary to look up the meaning of 'erudite' but when he saw the word 'error' on one of the previous pages he thought his copy was defective and threw it out.)

Speaking of books, our B.S. 'Bone Spur' President, is also under the assumption that Melvil Dewey deliberately created the Dewey Decimal System just to get under his skin, even though Dewey created the system 70 years before Trump was born. It makes Trump think about libraries. When he thinks about libraries, and all those books that are inside them, he gets anxious and uncomfortable. He realizes it highlights his lack of intellectual curiosity. Everyone who knows him is aware of this. In this instance his paranoia probably is real.

Lastly, we come to the 'Institution of Marriage'. This ancient ceremony was obviously designed to make The Donald look bad. For without it, Donald's 'pussy grabbing', philandering, cheating, paying for and sleeping with strippers behavior might appear acceptable. It turns Trump's 'I Do's' into NO!, 'I Didn't's' (and I'll pay anyone off who says otherwise!)

Well, that just oughta about do it.

Let's all conspire to get him out of office on Tuesday, November 3rd.