Coven 'ain't'

I live a 5 minute walk away from a local college. The college has been routinely rated as one of the worst in the nation. I have been barred, by law, to be in communication with any administration official or staff including, but not limited to the president. Why? Because I had the audacity to request specific information on how this substandard institution, which is millions of dollars in debt, is going to mitigate the risk to the community of Coronavirus when it brings its student body back for in person classes in late August. I have sent them about half a dozen articles to back my claims as to why it would be foolhardy to do so. They just couldn't be bothered. Mind you, they charge outrageous amounts of money to attend this joke of an "educational institution". The retention rate for first year students is abysmally low. They are no better than a second or third rate High School, and that's giving them the benefit of the doubt. One of the ways they aim to combat the spread of this virus is, and I quote “All faculty, staff and students will be asked to sign a Community Health and Well-Being Covenant, which basically says we all have to care for ourselves and each other to have a successful semester, it’s on all of us not just one group of people.” Are you laughing yet? If not, you should be. What a joke!

Oh, it's just that simple. I know, why don't you get the students at this Private Christian Institution to sign a "Covenant" stating that they won't get the virus.

Or a "Covenant" that if they get the virus they won't get sick. 

Or if they get sick, they won't die.

Or if they die they won't do so while attending this inferior institution.

Why not make them sign a document stating that should they get sick or cause another person to get sick or die that they will not hold the College legally responsible, even though the College could have prevented such a calamity by simply waiting to reopen after a robust treatment or vaccine had been found.

Don't worry, loyal reader, I did ask the College to provide me with information as to how they were going to deal with any legal issues should they be sued for their irresponsible behavior. You guessed it. Not allowed, by law, to ask them about that either.

Now, if signing a "Covenant" won't work, how about a "Coven". We could all just use a spell to rid us of this dangerous virus; 'Double double toil and trouble/Fire burn and cauldron bubble', and all that. 

How about a potion? Here's a good one:

Right wing of lame duck

Lying tongue of Trump

Jellyfish spine of Kushner

Accusatory pointing finger of Barr

Turned blind eye of virus denier

Turned other cheek of Melania

Smirk of Ingraham

Brown nose of Hannity

3 oz. Breitbart KKKoolaid

Strain through 1 unwanted Republican face mask

Into a less than half-filled glass of America

Drink up on any of the over 150,000 graves of dead victims of COVID-19

During a full moon

Facing an uncertain future

Feel safer now? I thought so!

Let's all make a "Covenant" to vote Trump out of office on November 3rd, and stick to it!!!