It's Just Illusions I Recall I Really Don't Know Science At All

White House Press Secretary Kaleigh McEnany says "The president has said unmistakably that he wants schools to open...When he says open, he means open and full, kids being able to attend each and every day at their school. The science should not stand in the way of this."

That's right Kaleigh. Screw science! I know, why don't you and D.T. go skydiving. No parachute. The hell with surface area and drag! Gravity. Ha! The only thing Newton was good for are Fig Bars. So jump Kaleigh, jump. Wave to me on the way down.

Breathing underwater. No problem. Just dive in. You and 'The Donald'. Go 6 feet under and take a deep breath. Drowning is just a hoax. A scientific invention made to control people from exercising their First Amendment right of having Freedom of Speech and Free Assembly while being submerged.

Don't like being shot at? Who does? Certainly not our Draft Dodging 'B.S.' 'Bone Spur' President. So face that firing squad. When the bullets come screaming at you ready to pierce your flesh just denounce scientific principles. It will be your bullet proof vest fashioned out of ignorance and denial. Stand tall!

Ever been in a choke hold Kaleigh? Ever had a policeman kneeling on your neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds? No matter. Just ignore the scientific fact that a crushing weight on your windpipe for that length of time will kill you. Just repeat "I can breath", "I can breath", "I can breath" then click your heels together 3 times. Voila! There you are, safely back in the West Wing of the White House ready to do Trump's bidding. (Caution: This method does not work if your skin color is anything but white.)

So take off those masks people. Send your kids into the petri dish of schools like the obedient guinea pigs you would like them to be. Forbid them from attending any science based classes or activities. 

Fake news. Fake virus. Fake Science.

Fake President.