More Donald "Con" Trump Conspiracy Theories

I thought I was just kidding in my Donald Trump's conspiracy theories post on July 23rd, "Later On, We'll Conspire...", when I said that he believed the USPS had it in for him because: "the USPS would be the ones to oversee the delivery of mail-in ballots to their final destinations. They would thus be accomplices to fraud in Trump's twisted mind." I'm beginning to scare myself with these "predictions". I'll take my chances though and opine on some other theories Trump might be floating to save his sinking reelection ship.

Trump believes the Pythagoreans and Ancient Greeks knew back in 300 BC what he would be up to come the 2020 election. So to trip him up they invented the concept of math. This would allow people to quantify the physical world. Things like being able to tally the amount of votes one might receive in an election. Just to be sure, however, the Electoral College was invented, in case some of our realities didn't match up to other's expectations. A vote count of 62,984,828 is greater than 65,853,514. Isn't it? All those damn numbers, my head is spinning. Help me make sense out of this. I need to be enrolled in the Electoral College! (Trump said he is good with figures. I guess he was talking about his affairs with Stormy Daniels and Marla Maples.)

Around 1285 Salvino D'Armate invented glasses. Trump feels this was done on purpose and as a specific attack on his character, or lack thereof. This invention allows people to see Donald for who he truly is. Not a pretty sight. Glasses are also used to help people read and become educated. Trump is not pleased about this because it specifically targets his inability to do either. The only person Trump had no issue with in the wearing of said corrective lenses was Joe Shapiro. He's the person who most likely took Trump's SAT exams for him which allowed Trump to get into the Wharton School of The University of Pennsylvania. Of course Trump has blocked anyone from seeing any of his academic records, going so far as to threaten to sue any institution that would release them. 

As a side note, Louis J. Girard invented contact lenses in 1887 and Gholam A. Peyman invented Lasik laser corrective eye surgery in 1989. These more modern inventions are disturbing to Donald. Now he can't easily discern which individuals can see right through him just by cursory inspection.

Trump's next bugaboo: That cursed melanin thingy. What a scourge to the Donald, for without it everyone would be a nice shade of white. Why are there all these pesky darker skin tones? The numerous problems it creates for him. All these people to be disenfranchised from voting. All the bigotry and condescension he needs to maintain. Second nature for Trump, but it still requires energy which ultimately detracts from his golf game. Trouble is, he needs some of them to take care of the menial tasks at his properties. Conundrum for the dumdum? 

This last Trump conspiracy theory is real, at least for now. Donald thinks the CDC is trying to make him look bad, or at least worse, by slowing down the development and deployment of a Covid vaccine on purpose. He wants all the glory for himself. That way he can say he was the President during the greatest pandemic ever in the history of man. That he single-handedly saved the nation. Doesn't make a difference how many people get sick or die. That is not the point. He can take credit for being the sole creator of the vast scope of this tragedy by how incompetent he has been in handling the situation and then claim to be the saviour of us all when it eventually "disappears". 

'Trumphausen by Proxy'! 

"It is what it is".

P.S. For your own safety, well-being and peace of mind do not, under any circumstances, view the Repulikkkonvention. Permanent 'turn the blind-eye syndrome' and a precipitous drop in mental capacity will result. The only known treatment:

Voting Donald 'Con-John' Trump out of office on November 3rd!