Real World: Yosemite [ yoh-sem-i-tee ] noun a valley in E. California, in the Sierra Nevada Mountains: a part of Yosemite National Park. 7 miles (11 km) long. Usage in sentence: Hey, let's go camping at Yosemite National Park. We'll bring the kids. It'll be fun!
Trump's World: Yo! Semite [ yoh, - semīt ] slang a Donald Trump shout-out to a member of the Jewish Race. Usage in sentence: Yo! Semite, how about counting my money for me. You know how I feel about blacks doing it.
What he actually said: "Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day." And yes, he really did pronounce Yosemite as [ yoh - semīt ].
Real World: Alamo [ al-uh-moh ] noun a mission in San Antonio, Texas that was used as a fort during the Texas revolution. An example of the Alamo is the site of 187 Texan deaths in 1836. Usage in sentence: When we go to San Antonio we must make sure to visit the Alamo. It is a somber place and no photographs are allowed to be taken inside of the building.
Trump's World: A lamb-o [ ə-læm-oh] refrain in a popular Nursery Rhyme as recited by Frederick Trump to his son Donald when he was a toddler. Usage in the Nursery Rhyme: Mary had a lamb-o, a lamb-o, a lamb-o. Mary had a lamb-o. We fleeced it don't you know.
Real World: Hebrides [ heb-ri-deez ] noun a group of islands (Inner Hebrides and Outer Hebrides off the west coast of and belonging to Scotland. About 2,900 sq. mi. (7,500 sq. km). Usage in sentence: We will be vacationing to the Hebrides this summer. We hear that they are beautiful at that time of year.
Trump's World: he-brides [ hē-brīdz ] noun the term Donald Trump uses when describing the men who are to be joined in a Gay marriage. Usage in a probable Trump sentence: Gee, which one of those he-brides will be wearing the dress and which one will be wearing the tuxedo?
How Trump really feels about Marriage Equality: Donald Trump has been a consistent opponent of marriage equality. He has embraced the nation’s most odious anti-LGBTQ law, North Carolina’s HB2, and put on the ticket Mike Pence, who has become the face of anti-LGBTQ discrimination after signing a bill to allow businesses to discriminate and deny service to LGBTQ people because of who they are or whom they love. Trump has also said he would sign the so-called First Amendment Defense Act (FADA) which would enable Kim Davis-style discrimination across the country.
Real World: hyperbole [ hīˈpərbəlē ] noun exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally. Usage in sentence: Just about everything Donald Trump has said, or will ever say, is hyperbole.
Trump's World: hyperbowl [ hīpər-bōl ] verb how Donald Trump exaggerates his prowess at bowling. Usage in sentence: Donald would say "I hyperbowled to a score of 325 yesterday!" But Donald, the highest score you can achieve in bowling is 300. "I said I hyperbowled! Didn't you hear me? What's wrong with you?! You're fired!!!"
Real World: Thailand [ taɪlænd ] noun Formerly Siam. A kingdom in SE Asia: official name of Siam 1939–45 and since 1949. 198,242 sq. mi. (513,445 sq. km). Capital: Bangkok. Usage in sentence: One of the most popular dishes of Thailand is Tom Yum Goong (spicy shrimp soup). You must try some the next time you visit.
Trump's World: thigh-land [ THī-land ] noun area of the human leg between the hip and the knee. Usage in sentence: Donald Trump had to pay Stormy Daniels $130,000 in hush money to keep her quiet after visiting her thigh-land during his illicit sexual encounter with her in 2006. The event happened within months of Melania giving birth to Barron. Trump actually did pronounce Thailand as [ THī-land ]. What an educated leader!
Trump's World: Donald Trump says he has done more for the United States than any President in history. He has done more for minorities than any President in history. Has done more to unite the citizens of the United States than any President in History. That he should be on Mount Rushmore.
Real World: Trump has done more harm to America than any other President, ever. He has done more to minorities than any other President in history. He has done more than any other President could possibly do to divide the citizens of the United States. He should be thrown off Mount Rushmore!
Ideal World: Donald John Trump voted out of office on Tuesday, November 3rd!
It'll never happen! MAGA 2020!! Demos are the real liars
ReplyDeleteDid you see the hat I designed for you NedMark? Post July 24. No worries. It comes in extra, extra small.
Deleteyou sound like a rabid one-trick pony. Out here in the real world people have come to understand that folks like you, NOT the President, who have... "done more than any other President could possibly do to divide the citizens of the United States."
ReplyDeleteGot a hat for you too! P.S. Start your own blog to prove me wrong. Ride 'em cowboy.
DeleteI'll refrain from replying to detractors in the future. Waste of energy. Besides, they need time to piss out all the KKKoolaid they've been drinking!
ReplyDeleteWhat's-his-name's mother was an
ReplyDeleteimmigrant who grew up impoverished
in the Hebrides and learned English
as a second language. So it would
make perfect sense for her
ignorant-assed racist son, incapable
of mastering even a first language,
to mispronounce the word "Hebrides."
My own cost-benefit analysis, conducted
over the last couple of years, yields
irrefutably that MAGAts are too expensive
to raise for purposes of maintaining
dialogue. As it turns out, they require
(indeed, crave) constant feeding with
nonsense and disinformation, and what
the hell would be the point of that? Hats
are probably o.k., though.